Recovery Rocks

You’d think getting great news in sobriety would be all celebration and happiness. But sometimes getting exactly what you want is when the panic sets in.

Lisa remembers landing a major job at a law firm just 10 months into sobriety, after surviving an intimidating interview process that would have been impossible during her drinking days. She was thrilled, proud and suddenly faced with the realization that now she actually had to do the job.

Anna remembers selling Party Girl to her dream publisher and deciding that the deal meant she’d be happy for the rest of her life. That lasted approximately two weeks.

But something has shifted. When Anna recently got the unexpected invitation to speak at Genius Network’s annual event, she experienced something she hadn’t always been capable of: enjoying the good news without needing it to guarantee some spectacular future outcome. She was so stunned by the invitation that she left her phone on the hood of her car for several hours. Miraculously, it was still there when she returned.

We talk about why external accomplishments can’t fix internal unhappiness, how sobriety has made us more appreciative of the little things (including the apparently miraculous experience of drinking coffee in the morning) and the unexpected pleasure of being genuinely happy for other people’s success.

And then, naturally, we get petty.

This week’s petty resentments involve the person who hijacks an entire group dinner to talk about themselves, the well-meaning friend who keeps encouraging them and the particular torture of listening to someone describe a wildly unrealistic dream when you’re expected to nod enthusiastically rather than tell the truth.

Because apparently it’s possible to be deeply grateful and incredibly petty at the same time.